I hate when I find that I'm comparing myself to my friends or others around me. Actually, I feel like this is a trait most women possess.. Which is so heartbreaking.We are all so wonderful in our own ways, yet the enemy does whatever he can to make us feel as little as possible; which in turn leads to such ugly, sinful emotions like greed and jealousy.
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.-- Psalm 139:13-15This past weekend, I was out with friends and as I was sitting next to one of the girls that was with me, a boy comes up to her and openly gushes on and on about insanely gorgeous she is. No lie, homeboy straight up walks up to us and starts telling my friend how absolutely stunning and beautiful and perfect and breathtaking she is. As I'm sitting elbow to elbow with her, I immediately become extremely uncomfortable. I truly don't care to hear how model-esque my friend is, especially as I spent a good 1.5 hours getting ready tonight and wore my ballin' red pumps...
The more I reflect on it though, the more I'm just so frustrated with the whole thing. Not because the stranger didn't find me gorgeous, but because I do not want to be that kind of a person! A jealous person, an envious person, a self-pity person. It's so ridiculous!
Why can't I be happy for my friend? Why can't I appreciate one of God's creations and know that I am just as equally loved and appreciated by our Heavenly Father? Why can't I realize that I will be that stunning to my future husband one day? Why do I care what complete strangers think of me?!
I've realized the only way I can overcome this terrible habit of comparing, is by diving into the Word and prayer. Unfortunately, I'm flesh and born into sin; we all are. And I'm female so I'm convinced I will always possess a comparing gene somewhere in my DNA. No, not an excuse but also something that is real and that I will have to work to control every single day. However, it doesn't have to control me. It doesn't have to overrule my heart and my thoughts to the point of pain and suffering like it did on Saturday night.
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades.So I encourage anyone that ever struggles with this like I do, to take deep breaths and say a little prayer to the good Lord above and ask that you can see yourself through His eyes; because that is true beauty and the absolute definition of love and admiration.
The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. Proverbs 31: 30